Beyond And Back
by Shoyzz
Summary: Hiro wakes up in a white room. Where was he? And how did he got there? And why is Tadashi there as well? Wasn't he supposed to be ... dead? (Warning's inside!)


**A/N:**

**Hey guys! Here comes my first Big Hero 6 story (one-shot)! :D**

**Please be aware that this one has some suicidal thoughts so if you are sensitive on the matter, I suggest you skip this one ****ˆˆ**

**And now, on with this story!**

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><p>Hiro woke up with a start. His heart beating rapidly. He squinted his eyes to the sudden brightness, giving him a slight headache, and tried to adjust his eyes. When he finally did, he looked around to find the source of light and then his eyes widened.<p>

He blinked while looking at his surroundings.

White.

Everything was white. He couldn't tell how big the room was or if it even had an end. It seemed to go on forever. He looked around and found nothing. There were no windows, no doors, nor anything for that matter.

He also noticed that he was standing. He looked down and saw he was wearing his usual clothes. Was it possible to wake up standing? _Nah, that's impossible. There must be some kind of explanation_.

"Hello?" His echo was only met with silence. He gulped.

"Is - is anyone out there?" His eyes darted from one direction to another.

Silence.

That's when he remembered his cell phone. Maybe he could try and call for help, or at least see where he was. He searched every pocket but came empty handed. Sighing in defeat he looked ahead.

He decided to start walking to see if he could find anything. Or anyone. His feet moved straight ahead, or at least he thought he was. His footsteps sounded far and distant with an echo to it.

Hiro didn't want to admit it but he was starting to feel scared. He couldn't quite remember what happened before he woke up in this place or how he even got there.

What he could remembered was when he was little, about five or six years old, and he got lost in the shopping mall. He remembered the fear and sadness when he couldn't find Aunt Cass nor Tadashi. That was how he was feeling right now. Hiro, although scared, smiled at the memory.

"Hiro?"

Hiro came to a halt and his eyes widened. A gasp escaped his lips. It couldn't be. Was it a dream? It sure didn't feel like it. But he thought he would never hear that voice again. And yet, there it was.

He slowly, fearfully turned around. He was scared that if he turned too quickly the person would disappear. When he did turn around he couldn't believe his eyes. A few meters away from him, Tadashi was looking at him.

Tadashi.

His older brother.

His _dead_ older brother.

Hiro rubbed his eyes to see if it was an illusion or a trick of his mind. When he looked again, Tadashi was still standing there.

Hiro didn't know what to feel. He didn't know if to be scared or happy, or sad, or angry. But one thing he knew he felt, it was overwhelmed. So many emotions where going through his already fast beating heart. Hiro stood there, frozen on the spot, deciding what to do.

Tadashi looked at him as if waiting for a reaction. When Hiro didn't move or said anything he called out to him again.

This time, Hiro run as fast as he could and enveloped Tadashi in a crushing embrace. Hiro's shoulder shook from his crying and sobbing. He was just so happy, _so very happy_ that he could see and feel his brother at last.

Tadashi returned the hug although he hadn't expected it. He knew Hiro missed his sad face but decided to leave the talking for a little bit later, when Hiro calmed down.

Some minutes passed when finally Tadashi broke the embrace, pushing Hiro back a little so he could see him in the eyes.

Hiro now stared at his face. It was just like the day he had died. Still young, without a single trace of a scar or mark. Hiro smiled at him but slowly, it started to fall. He saw that Tadashi was happy but there was something else. What could it be? Anger? No, he didn't seem angry. Tadashi was never _angry_ at him. Nervous? Nope.

Then it hit him.

Sad.

Tadashi was sad. Hiro's heart dropped. Was Tadashi really sad to see him? Didn't he missed him as much as he did? Just when Hiro was about to ask Tadashi, he spoke first.

"Hiro ...What have you done?" He said with a sad smile. Hiro tilted his head in confusion.

"Hiro, you have to go back."

"Back?" What did he mean by that? What was back anyway?

"But I just got here. And I want to stay here. With you"

"Hey, I know you do bonehead, but right now you can't. But don't worry, we'll see each other again - ..." Tadashi said with glee in his voice and a smile on his face. Then his expression fell to reveal sadness yet again.

"... But not like this..." His voice lowered and he looked at Hiro with a serious face. Hiro was taken aback.

" What - what do you mean?

Tadashi looked at him sadly.

"Try to remember what happened" He said. "Don't you remember how you got here?"

Hiro forced his concentration on thinking what had happened that day. His eyes moved slightly, trying to think, to re-surface the memories from before but it appeared as if his mind was blocking it somehow.

Tadashi eyes never left Hiro's. He saw the effort of his younger brother trying to remember but still, there was no recognition in his eyes.

Hiro finally gave up and looked up at Tadashi for an answer. The older Hamada sighed and knelt down to Hiro's eye level. Then he extended his hands and grabbed both of Hiro's arms.

He proceeded to grab the sleeves of his hoodie and pulled them up.

While Tadashi was doing that, Hiro never left his brother face. He was trying to study his expression and wonder why he seemed so sad. Was he not happy to see him?

Tadashi looked up to Hiro and then down again at his wrists. Hiro followed his eyes and looked down.

His heart nearly stopped.

Both of his wrists had long, deep red gashes. As if someone had cut them on purpose.

Then, Hiro's head pounded strongly. He grimaced at the pain and grabbed his head with both hands. That's when he started to see images and flashes of what had happened.

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><p><em>Hiro couldn't take it anymore. He felt as if his life had no purpose. What was the point in living? Why go through this much pain everyday? There was no one who would miss him. Aunt Cass might, a little bit. But still, she wasn't his direct family.<em>

And what about your friends?

_A voice inside his head said. They weren't his friends. They were Tadashi's friends. He wondered the reason as to why they still hang out with him. Did they fill guilty for him? Pity?_

_He didn't want their pity, their compassion. He just wanted to leave everything behind. He felt as if he was falling through a hole that had no end. Constantly afraid of hitting the ground hard but the impact never came._

_He also felt anger. So much anger towards himself. He couldn't stand looking at his reflection in the mirror. It was because of him that Tadashi died._

_Why couldn't he had been stronger and had a firm grip on his brother arm? Why couldn't he had talked to him just a few more seconds and prevent his brother to walk right into an explosion? Why? Why!? WHY?_

_Although many questions swam in his mind, he could never find an answer to them. Those questions would pop into his mind over and over again until it was unbearable. He had tried to sleep as a chance to block his mind but every time he closed his eyes, he re-lived that same, awful, life-changing night._

_He would see red everywhere. And the worst of it was that he couldn't escape. Sometimes he would do the same things that happened in reality, other's he would try to say something different and hope he could change Tadashi's mind but it never worked. Sometimes, he could see himself from a distance talking to his older brother. Those time he tried to reach Tadashi and stop him but it was as if an invisible force field held him back every time and was forced to watch the horrible fate over and over again._

_After realizing that sleeping wasn't much of a choice, he would stay awake most of the time. Dark bags decorated his face. He would always pretend to be asleep when he heard Aunt Cass footsteps coming up the stairs. He would stay still and make his breathing slow, following a constant slow rhythm. Aunt Cass would stay a few minutes and then go downstairs._

_One day, Hiro figured he had had enough. The pain and grief in his heart was too great. Why keep on living like this? Every time a new day started he already wanted it to finish. He just wanted to sleep and never wake up. Every-time his eyes opened and looked across his room to his brother's bed, he was reminded of the horrible events that had happened._

_That's when he decided to do it._

_He went to bathroom and closed the door behind him. He had never thought of doing something like this before but it felt like it was the only option he had. He took out a small knife and stared at it. He just stood there some minutes and did nothing. He closed his eyes and breathed. He opened them and grabbed his sleeves, pulling them up._

_He looked the sharp object in his hand and slowly moved it closer to his wrist until it was touching his skin. He could feel the sharpness of the knife against his skin. He stayed like that for a few minutes and then, closing his eyes, he forced it down without looking. Quickly, he changed hands and did the same with his other wrist. He grimaced with each cut._

_He didn't dare to look down but he could feel the warm liquid flowing out. He sat there on the floor, feeling the life leave out his body._

_Then his head started to feel light-headed. His breathing was becoming slower and slower and his eyes were starting to drop. He wanted to sleep and so, he gave in. Embracing the darkness._

_"See you soon Tadashi." He said when he closed his eyes and everything went black._

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><p>The images melted away and soon Tadashi's face filled his eye-sight.<p>

"Now you remember?" Tadashi said looking at his brother. Hiro was sure having a mini-panick attack now. He looked down in shame, avoiding Tadashi's eyes and finally nodded at the recovered memory.

He had killed himself. He had done that to meet his brother.

"You have to back Hiro" Tadashi said almost pleading.

"But I miss you" He said looking at Tadashi, but as he did his eyes started to fill with tears and looked down. He didn't want his brother to see him cry. Tadashi reached forward and grabbed Hiro's chin and gently lifted his head so that he could see him eye to eye.

"Hey bonehead. I know that you miss me and believe, I miss you too. So much. But please, you don't have to come to this choice. Don't waste your life because of me. You have great potential in you. You have a great life ahead of you! You are only 14! I _know_ that you will do great things. Imagine all the people you will be able to help? You have to stay strong.

And keep fighting okay? Can do that for me?"

Hiro's heart was touched by his brothers words. Somewhere in the middle, a few tears escaped his eyes and fell to the white floor. Nobody had said something that encouriging to him since in forever. And if Tadashi said them, they must've been true. He sniffed and then finally nodded. Tadashi smiled warmly.

A smile was starting to grow Hiro's face as well when sudden pain took his breath away.

_"Clear!"_

He fell to his knees when he felt a sting in his heart. His breathing quickened by the second.

Hiro shut his eyes in pain and panted. He grabbed his chest to see if he could make the pain stop.

_"Still no change."_

_"Clear!"_

He looked up to his brother

"Tadashi - wha - what's happe - Ahhhhhhhhrrrrggg!"

Hiro doubled as another wave of pain overwhelmed him. Hiro couldn't take it much longer. His breathing was coming in short gasps. It felt like his chest was on fire and he could do nothing to make the pain go away.

"Tadashi? What's wrong with - with me?" He said in a shaky voice while his eyes were still closed. His voice was like a whisper.

"You are being pulled back"

Hiro looked fearfully into his eyes.

"Tadashi ... I'm - I'm scared" His eyes filled with tears once more. Not only from the pain but also because he wouldn't see Tadashi for a long time.

"Hey I know you can do it" Tadashi looked him with bright eyes and grabbed his shoulders.

"You are stronger than you think." Hiro, although still in pain, smiled. He smiled like he hadn't done in a long time. He lunged at his brother and embraced him.

_"Again!"_

"Thanks for not giving up on me" Hiro managed to say when pain swarmed his body and he felt himself slip away.

_"Clear!"_

_Beep. Beep. Beep..._

_"He's stable!"_

White light embraced him. But then everything turned back.

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><p>Hiro slowly came to. He felt he was lying in something soft with his head slightly upwards. His eyes shifted under his eyelids. He tried opening them but they seemed to be clamped shut. He decided to wait and gain some strength. He started to take in his surroundings.<p>

There was a weird smell in the air. He seemed to remember that particular smell but couldn't put his finger on it. The only thing that he could remember was that it was not good. He tried to listen, and the only sound his ears could find was a constant beeping in the background. Was his alarm going off? He tried moving his hand to reach for his alarm but lots of pain shot through his wrist.

Now he was able to open his eyes and he inspected the room. He could see that he was lying on a bed. Sheets covered his body. Hiro found it strange because that wasn't his room. This one was much smaller and the wall colors were all different.

He looked to were the sound came from and saw a small monitor with green waves going up and down.

_A heart monitor_. He thought.

He realized he was in a hospital. Why was he here anyway? His eyes suddenly fell on the figure laying at the end of the bed. How could he have missed it before? The figure was resting peacefully. Their breathing slow, signaling him that they were fast asleep. It was no other that his Aunt Cass.

Hiro smiled at her and was about to call her when he noticed his throat was dry and raspy. Instead, he went along and reached his arm to shake her, but he couldn't move his hand. Something was tugging at it.

_Must be the IV._ He thought of trying to remove the IV with his other hand but this one tugged to. He looked down and saw a white strap around his wrists. He frowned in confusion. He then looked at his other hand and found it strapped as well. He tried to pull himself free but it wouldn't budge.

_What the -_ Then it hit him. His eyes fell on his wrists.

_Oooohh ... right_. The clean sharp cuts were still there. He remembered. He had tried to take his life. When he looked up at Aunt Cass he figured she must have found him and called 911. He hadn't locked the bathroom's door after all. It must have been quite easy for her to open it.

He started to remember all the pain he felt and the sadness that drove him into fulfilling his actions.

The funny thing was that he no longer felt like that. Memories of that strange white room filled his mind. He remembered Tadashi's encouraging words and how his brother had given him hope to continue living. To look ahead and keep moving forward.

Then sadness filled his heart, not because of Tadashi's death but because he didn't realize how much pain he must have caused to his loved ones. He looked over at Aunt Cass and dark bags under her eyes. Evidence of her staying awake long hours, waiting for him to wake up. He rolled his head and saw lot's of "Get well soon" cards on a small night stand beside his bed. He could recognize Tadashi's -no, scratch that - _his _friends hand writing all over them.

"Aunt Cass?" Hiro words were a whisper. It felt like he hadn't had anything to drink for weeks. Cass seemed to be fast asleep and miss his voice. Hiro then tried calling her again, a little louder this time.

She started to shift until her eyes blinked slowly. When she looked at Hiro and noticed him awake she got up immediately and went closer to him and grabbed his hand, carefully as to not touch the wounds.

"Hiro! Honey how are you feeling?" She smiled warmly at him.

"I feel great actually, a little thirsty" He said with a smile. She went and grabbed a cup of water and was about to hand it to him but then realized his hands were strapped.

Hiro followed her gaze. Aunt Cass was devating if removing the straps or not. They had put on those because he was under suicidal watch. She didn't bear to see him like this.

_Oh what the heck, I am watching over him right now_.

She moved closer and removed the straps on both his wrists. Hiro smiled at her gratefully and grabbed the cup with trembling hands.

Hiro let out a sigh of satisfaction as the water run through his throat. He thanked her and he put the cup down. They stayed silent for a bit. None of them wanted to start _the _talk until Aunt Cass decided to start.

"I found you. You know, at home, in the bathroom. I was calling you to come down to dinner but there was no answer." She said slowly as she brought the memories from the night before into her mind.

"I looked in your room and you weren't there. Then I saw the bathroom door was closed and decided to knock. No one answered so I opened it. And then - and then I - I found you on the floor and - and there was so much red everywhere ..." Aunt Cass started crying and sobbing. Hiro wanted to reach out to her and try to comfort her but something held him back. He only stare at her while she crying. Guilt washed over Hiro and he looked away.

"I - I'm sorry Aunt Cass. It was just ..."

"Was it my fault?" She asked in a hushed tone. Hiro looked quickly at her, eyes wide in surprise.

"What? No! Of course not. You were nothing but great to me Aunt Cass. It was that - I made a stupid decision. A very irrational decision. And I wasn't thinking straight. But I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being selfish and not thinking of you. I never thought how this - " he looked down at his wrists " - would affect you after I was gone. I'm sorry Aunt Cass."

He reached forward and grabbed her hand.

"But I promise you, It will never happen again." Cass looked at his nephew. She was taken aback by his attitude and was surprised that he had changed his mind so quickly in such a short amount of time.

Most people in this situation tended to keep struggling with the temptation to do it again for weeks, even months. But when she heard Hiro's words she could feel the truth behind them.

"Aunt Cass? Thank you for being there for me. And for looking out for me as well." Hiro's eyes were close to tears now. Cass couldn't take it much longer and embraced her only nephew. Hiro returned the hug and rested his face at the crook of her neck in a warm embrace.

_Thanks bro. I'll stay strong._

_I'll be strong for you._

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><p><strong>AN**

**And that guys is the end**

**I am doing a little illustration on this one n.n**

**Hope you liked it! :D There are several more (BH6) stories that I am currently thinking and developing so stay tunned!**

**(For those of you waiting on "Powerless" please stay with me ˆˆ It's currently being written but kind of in a slow pace and I want to finish all the story before I start posting so that you will be able to read it till the end in no time with weekly updates)**

**Review are love 3**


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